The night everthing changed began like any other. Friends. Company. Food. A quiet evening.
Enter: cupcakes. Lots of cupcakes. Cupcakes and a boastful friend.
He said he could do it. They bet him he couldn’t.
Two baker’s dozens. One sitting. One glass of milk.
The contest commenced and the course of all humanity was about to be derailed in a most peculiar way. He plowed through the first 14 like a man possessed. The next 8 went down just as quick. Two more and his pace slowed to a crawl. It was now determination versus general safety. Caution was thrown to the wind and the wager was completed. The victory celebration was short-lived however… He acted strange, his eyes glazed over… with… glaze? He frosted at the mouth. His skin crumbled. His firm youthful complexion became fluffy and buttery.
No one said a word. All were silent. Suddenly he arose. He lunged forward at the table, still full of cupcakes. He began devouring at a pace unimaginable for someone who had just eaten as much sugar as he had. His vision swirled. His friends appeared to him in a new light. They looked…. delicious.
He had to have them. He siezed his friend by the arm and took a bite of the most deliciously frosted friend he’d ever tasted. He sampled another and she was just as tasty. So it began…
Time stood still as the Planet Earth took it’s last breath of sane air. Everything would be different tomorrow. Conventional wisdom… right out the window! Tomorrow the world would be scoured by legions of cupcake fiends. They know not reason or mercy. They only know cake. Some will retreat to the hills to fight for humanity as they knew it. Some would pray to the sky for answers…. Some actually volunteered to be bitten, citing a desire to be part of, “The most deliciously awesome world ever man! Cupcakes man! Yeah, awesome!”
I fear that I am responsible for unleashing the Cake Slinger upon the world. Yes, I admit it, I am his mother…. But he gets his sense of humor from his father. The spelling gene – now, that comes from me.
1 | Mommy Mia May 31st, 2007 at 9:55 amSo I’m trapped in the house on my day off, because the car is in the shop – hey, no A/C in 90 degree heat is an automotive crisis, in my opinion. So I flipped on the TV while doing boring housework, and there was some little twink on the Rachael Ray show, bringing the hostess cupcakes. Big hit. Then the waiters came streaming out from backstage with huge platters of cupcakes for everyone in the studio. The bakery got lots of promotion and their name in lights. I thought to myself, surely those cupcakes cannot be as good as Red Mango’s. And the Rachael Ray show is filmed in NYC, on 44th St. – within easy delivery distance, right?
Okay, I’ve given you a hot tip here, kids. Now it’s your turn – get out there and follow up!