Otis, the crispy oatmeal raisin cookie, rolls into the high school locker room smelling of fresh baked cookie cologne. He wears a purple raisin button polo and baggy jeans. As he sits down on the sticky maple covered bench he notices a flyer for the running of his class president. Otis thinks that he could possibly be the best candidate for class president: his raisins are plump and juicy, his oats are high in fiber, and his sides are golden brown. There is no reason why Otis would not win.

While Otis daydreams of his victory, another alluring fresh baked cookie perfume fills the air. Cocoa, the milk chocolate chip cookie, rolls in wearing a tight, wide fudge dress enhancing her chunky figure. She also notices the flyer.

“Well hello my dear sweet chocolaty classmate. How are you doing this fine afternoon?” mumbles Otis with a grimace and sweet smile.

“I am doing just fine Otis, and don’t you worry about any of my goodies,” Cocoa replies with a sugar-coated smile. “Anyway, I am going to run for class president so I hope you will vote for me, Otis. I will need as much support from the cookie scraps as possible.”

“What do you mean cookie scraps! Besides, I am going run and win. Everyone knows that oatmeal raisin cookies are the new chocolate chip. Where are YOU going to get the support to win, from your crumbly batch of friends? I have the support from my vegan oatmeal friends. They are filled with dried fruits and nuts. You leave Alvin, the vegan almond-raisin, and Wally, the vegan cranberry-walnut, out of this. They are my best friends and they support me in anything I do,” Otis tells Cocoa in the most threatening way possible trying not to call attention to the large cookie crumbles falling from his mouth.

“ Do not mess with me and my batch of friends, Otis. You know we are filled with rich morsels of chocolate and our hint of espresso will have you dying for more.” Cocoa says after taking a sip of vitamin D milk.

“Well, we will see who will win this election. Only time will tell,” Otis and Cocoa say as they both leave the locker room.

Stay tuned in to the next chapter of As The Cookie Crumbles to find out what happens between Otis and Cocoa and their big election!

after you eat one of our cupcakes!!!

If you happen to be in the east village this weekend and find yourself standing in front of 328 E. 14th Street, stop in for a slice of Red Mango cake. Curly’s Vegetarian Lunch is the newest NYC spot to carry Red Mango’s vegan cakes. We’ll be dropping some off today so make sure when you’re there, ask them for a slice or Red Mango deliciousness!!

Curly’s Vegetarian Lunch
328 E. 14th Street (between 1st and 2nd Aves)
New York, NY

Congratulations are in order to The Bean Coffee & Tea on the opening of their 2nd location at 446 6th Avenue between 10th and 11th street in NYC. Like their 1st Avenue store, Red Mango will be delivering tasty treats, so be sure to check them out.

Plot goes something like this:
Scoan Wilder, a romance writing Cranberry city scone, receives a treasure map in the mail from her Mixed Berry sister in South America, who was kidnapped by a band of Cinnamon Raisin scones searching for the coveted Cinnamon Struesel that would make them oh so rich (tasting that is). Ms. Wilder travels to South America to save her sister, and ends up stranded in the jungle, finding company in savory soldier-of-fortune, Jack Chedder-Scone. Together they embark upon a wild adventure to save her sister, all the while falling in love. And Scoan Wilder thought this was something that she could only imagine in one of her novels.

SuperVegan.com got ahold of some Red Mango goods and gave us a smile-generating review (read it here!). Thanks Susie and SuperVegan!

Update! Here’s an excerpt:
“…The German Chocolate [cupcake] was far and away the best in this league, but the true highlight of the RM dessert line-up is the crispy peanut butter-chocolate bar. It was the best dessert of its kind I’ve ever had: a layer of peanut buttery crispy rice, topped with peanut butter frosting and a thick layer of chocolate ganache. Shared between two people, it was totally satisfying and not too-sweet like many vegan desserts…” Read the rest here!

In a shocking development, it has been learned that the New York City Treasurer, “Golden” Alan Mintgreenspan, has declared a state of bankruptcy. This news comes as a complete shock to New York legislature and governmental offices, but apparently was a long-time-coming according to Mintgreenspan, who believes it has something to do with “placing a cupcake in charge of the finances of the world’s largest city.”

Mayor Bloomingburg had this to say, “As a democracy, we have placed our trust in the people to elect officials who best represent both their own interests and the interests of their city. While I did in fact question the recent election of a cupcake to public office, I remained confident in the decision of the people of this fair city to decide what was right for them. I am sorry today, to say that my suspicions were correct and that we are in fact headed down the road to financial ruin.”

Perhaps the most shocking turn of events in this entire debacle is that at no point did the public have any inclination that mismanagement was taking place on such a grandiose scale. This was largely due to the fact that the treasurer’s entire cabinet and press team also consisted entirely of cupcakes. Cupcakes of course, are quite incapable of grasping even the simplest of mathematic concepts.

Misappropriation does not even begin to describe the way city taxpayer dollars were spent this past calendar year, which saw New York’s first “Free Money Day”, the first annual 5k Run for Dollars, in which all participants received five thousand dollars, and of course the highly controversial loop-de-loop track addition to the number 7 train. The treasurer claiming the Queens-bound train needed, “…more flair” proposed the plan to his cabinet, who agreed unanimously.

City officials have begun pleading Albany to forgive their missteps and provide aid to get the city back on its feet.

All we can do at this point is learn from our mistakes. Cupcakes belong on a plate, next to a glass of milk. NOT in public office.